Dungeons and Payments
Or: How I Was Milton Friedman’d into Submission
dictated but not read
A couple of months ago, I was talking to a theatre friend. This friend has worked in many areas of theatre and drama as an artistic director, playwright, producer, director, board member, etc, etc, etc. We were talking about how our careers were going and they asked about my play Tinker Bell, which they knew was a success for me. I told them it had recently passed 100 productions since it was published in 2019. And they responded: “Oh my God! You’re paying your mortgage out of that one!”
Now, this took me aback for a couple of reasons. The biggest one being: I certainly am not paying my mortgage from the royalties of my TYA adaptation of the story of Peter Pan from Tinker Bell’s POV that is largely produced by high schools and community theatres. But beyond that was the simple fact that my friend, themselves a published TYA playwright, should have known that.
The economics surrounding theatre is largely shrouded in mystery; we know this. My training is as a filmmaker, so this shroud has always confounded me.
In film school, one always talks about money. How much the film costs, how to save costs, union minimums, how much to charge for freelance work, all these things are covered in the classroom. For theatre, one is lucky is there is an “Economics of Acting” class in the catalogue, luckier still if it is required, and unbelievably lucky if the info in that class is current (no mean feat these days, certainly).
I am a playwright. I have four published plays available for license. These publishers call me back when I need them to, I have recently negotiated the rights on a property and received a commission. I have a Helen Hayes nomination and am a member of the Dramatists Guild. So, ladies and gentlemen, if I say I’m an oil man, you will agree.
So I thought a fair and honest accounting might be useful to those interested of how much money this playwright makes on their work. And how this playwright closes the gap between that amount and a living wage.
For clarity, all the amounts I am about to give are from royalties, and I am including advance payments in the totals.
Let’s start with Tinker Bell, published by Dramatic Publishing in 2019. Tinker Bell was financially successful for me from the jump. But during lockdown is ironically when it really took off because it happened to lend itself to Zoom presentations very well. As I said at the start, it has received over a hundred productions since publication and earned me $44,123.22 (about $5,809.31 per year).
I live in the Washington, D.C. area, where the living wage is roughly $55,577.00. I have a mortgage, no student loans (anymore), am married, and have three kids in public schools. My wife has an excellent job and makes the bulk of the household income.
My most successful play nets me a little less than $6K a year on average.
So I think you can see why the idea that this play would be “paying my mortgage” took me aback.
My second most successful play is The Velveteen Rabbit: A Toy Story published by Theatrical Rights Worldwide in 2022. Since publication, it has had roughly nine productions and earned me $3,500.64 in total.
My ten-minute play The Ferberizing of Coral won at the (hopefully not dead) Samuel French (now Concord Theatricals) Off-Off Broadway Play Festival in 2018 and was published by that hallowed house in 2019. Since then, it has earned me $1,464.04 and been produced twice.
All of these plays also earn me money on sales of the script itself, not just the productions, of course. But that percentage is much lower (though it does account for the majority of The Ferberizing of Coral’s royalties).
The fourth play of mine to be published was Giant Box of Pr0n by Next Stage Press in 2023. It has sold a few copies but had no productions and so earned me $0.00 to date because I have not yet hit the minimum payout amount of $25.00.
So among these four published plays, I have earned $49,087.90 in 7 years. Roughly $6K less than the annual living wage in Washington, D.C.
So how do I close the gap? By hustling.
I am an adjunct professor at a couple DC universities and teach 1-2 courses a year. I direct theatre. I write and direct industrial and educational videos produced locally. I edit reels for people on occasion.
Also, back in the world of royalties, I wrote a textbook with Kylos Brannon called Visual Literacy: A Practical Text on the Analysis, History, and Creation of Visual Media. It’s in its 2nd Edition from Kendall Hunt, was originally published in 2016, and has earned me (to date) $1,031.81 total (in case you thought there might be more money in books).
It’s important to understand how we define success, especially in the arts. We are raised in the proverbial “West” to believe in a kind of goalline approach to life. If we just find the right partner, get the right job, publish one play, book one series, sell one script, we will live happily ever after. It’s good to have goals like this, but they are not the end of the story. They are steps on the path to (hopefully) more opportunities.
I write all this not to discourage anyone from the career of professional playwriting. But I think that going into it with eyes more widely opened will make the experience a richer one. Being published (especially in TYA) in one of the best experiences of my life. I have met so many students and theatre artists across the country and have had my plays produced in places I could never have imagined. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
But it ain’t paying my mortgage.
- Patrick, 7/15/26
Thanks for reading tales of the unknown penguin!
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pre-production
Beatrice Likes the Dark
We had our first public reading this past Friday for the students at the ATMTC Academy. They were a wonderful audience and offered some excellent thoughts. Dani Stoller is in rewrites now and our first production meeting is approaching! Rehearsals start in September and I can’t wait to get rolling with this one!
production
Can I Just Say?
We shot 2 of our 2.5 days on this adaptation of my 2026 Bethesda Play-in-a-Day script. It was a very fulfilling experience to bring back the play’s original cast for the film. We’ll finish shooting at the end of the month and I hope to have a cut ready for festival consideration by August. This one’s a fast mover!
now playing
The Ferberizing of Coral on OMELTO!
We are on the YouTube via the curated shorts channel Omeleto and we are loving it. Opening weekend, we got over 4K hits. So WATCH, LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE!
live on stage
The Velveteen Rabbit: A Toy Story
available through Theatrical Rights Worldwide
Westlake High School (Austin, TX) - November 18-20
Theatre in the Grove (Forest Grove, OR) - February 5-June 14, 2027
Roanoke College (Salem, VA) - February 18-20, 2027
Tinker Bell
available through Dramatic Publishing
Children and Adults Theatrical Studio (Lubbok, TX) - July 24-August 2
from the vault
Shaolin Baby Shower
Unknown Penguin’s martial arts film for the 2017 DC 48 Hour Film Project.
PROP: bubble wrap
LINE: “Sorry, the answer’s no.”
CHARACTER: Paula, activist
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